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Sunday, April 10, 2005


conflict conflake

i think ppl really need to talk and communicate more, more so when there is an issue or a problem to solve. different ppl handle conflict differently. some try to avoid it totally by not talking abt it while other ppl (like me) want to solve it ASAP or at least know what's going on. granted that "some things are best left unsaid", but this certainly does not apply to everything. running from a problem doesn't solve the problem.

while i can't possibly change everybody's mind about thrashing things out, i strongly feel it's one of (if not the best) way of solving a conflict, when all the cards are laid on the table. i've learnt that some ppl can be a bit too unrealistic. for example, u may be angry at someone and that's alright but the problem really comes when the other person doesn't even know what you are angry abt. people cant read your mind. and just because you're angry with that person, you start to avoid/ignore/curse him/her behind his/her back ===> but all these 1) do not solve the problem at hand 2) the person may not even know what you are angry about 3) you make things unnecessarily awkward which makes talking abt the issue at hand even more difficult. so if u do have a problem with something, do talk about it. maybe not today or the next or the day after day, but do it sometime soon before it gets too big

yes, i do believe in a cooling off period and i know people do think more clearly and talk more rationally once both sides are given some time to calm down, thus i do not advocate addressing the conflict immediately or soon after it happens. but surely something is wrong when u let it drag for weeks or months, if at all that it is mentioned.

some conflicts perhaps are difficult to solve or may even seem impossible to do so, especially it's been talked about some many times. but surely you don't give up on things just because it gets a bit diffcult. and though it may sound repetitive or even irritating, i feel it's always good to talk about things.

a related issue is honesty. while tact may be important, in that you have to choose your words carefully, the essence of what is really going on should not be covered up or ignored. i would rather deal with a person who is blunt than a person who makes everything seem ok on the surface but yet sweeps everything under the carpet, only to have me uncover the carpet later when everything under it starts to pile up. and very much often than not, i do find the carpet. call it my sixth sense, but i tend to find these things (even though i don't really want to) fairly easily. that perhaps is the pro (but i feel more like a con) of being a sensitive person. sometimes overly sensitive i have to admit.

not really referring to anybody in particular really because surely more than 50% of the people who know me and has read this would think that i'm referring to them. but do believe me when i say this isn't personal.

but the issue of "how YOU deal with conflict" is surely something worth reflecting about. and yes this time i'm referring to YOU staring at the screen.


stating my rights at 5:39 AM
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and so it begins


__current music__
[]want you bad - the offspring[]



:: the dictator

name: ronald lee
aka: conditionred
email: conditionred@gmail.com



:: current recommended songs

"sugar we're going down" - fall out boy
"down to my last" - alter bridge
"dani california" - red hot chilli peppers
"open your eyes" - alter bridge
"gravity" - embrace



:: critics

big head doraemon
weezer pseudo
ah wee pseudo
carry pseudo
angelica wonders
bigafeet
britnee
mee sua
buzzy



:: other comrades


sgcollect.com





:: history
November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 June 2005 July 2005 November 2005 December 2005 April 2006



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